new post. I changed the look of my blog… what do you think? I may change this one again. But this is good for now. Anyway..
I got up this morning as usual, fixed Andre’s lunch and got him off to school. Now I’m sitting here watching The Women for the millonth time. I’m also watching Madam Psycho Kitty playing with a cat toy. I don’t know how her flopping around on these hardwoods don’t hurt. She flung herself on top of that toy a few minutes ago… my back hurt just watching it LOL.
I spoke to my Dad last week. It was a nice conversation. Now that I’ve reached out to my Mother’s side of the family he is slowly leaking information about my Mother to me. Things that I do that remind him of her. Like my choices of music apparently lol. Now that I’ve stopped fighting the fact that I indeed had a mother and now that I know she’s dead and no longer a threat, I am finding myself more and more curious about her. Not curious enough to reach out the her side of the family again though. I felt no real connection to her siblings. Her oldest sister was kind of off putting in the grand scheme of things. All Catholic guilt all the time lol. I do like her SIL but I am not sure how to reach out to her. It’s nice to know she was more than the woman that walked away from her children. The more I think about that the more I’m grateful that she did.
Daddy still, to this day lives in the Bronx. Right down the block from Yankee Stadium as a matter of fact. We talked about when they tore down the old stadium… he really wanted to get part of the original stadium that was up under Yankee stadium. You know, the house that Ruth built. But the cops wouldn’t let him anywhere near it. I told him why. They sold it off. They made trinkets and key chains out of it. He didn’t believe me. So I bought him a key chain with field dirt in it. I’ll give it to him for his birthday in November. At least he’ll have a part of it. Even if it isn’t part of the original concrete.
Talking to him made me miss him more than I already did. I really wish I could have gotten up to NY this summer. I’m hoping that I can get there for Christmas this year, but that depends on a few things. A) If we can get away. William got out of the deployment to Iraq, but that doesn’t mean that he’ll be able to take leave. B) Whether or not Aprill is actively speaking to me at the moment. I can’t go to NY and not see my family. No matter how bad our relationship is she is still my sister. We were supposed to all meet up in Va this summer, Aprill and her family, JoJo and his family, and us. Aprill never showed or called to say she wasn’t coming. and C) Money has to fall right because I’d prefer to fly than drive honestly. I’m all driven out for this year lol.
As you can tell Aprill and I still haven’t patched things up. Not sure I want to, the peace is well… peaceful. Not having her constantly harping on me has given me the opportunity to clear my head and get my emotions under control. That and my therapist anyway lol. I haven’t seen my therapist since I’ve been back and I haven’t needed to either. Virginia was very good for me.
Well I guess that’s it for now. I’m going to go empty the dishwasher, look for Andre’s PT shirt, and gather the recycling together. I need to take that out in the morning. I hope everything is going okay out there in this vast blogosphere and that everyone is doing okay.